Beaming....

I only have a couple of minutes before one of my last credential classes, but I wanted to get my feelings on paper because I am really proud of both myself and my students....

I had an IEP meeting today with a senior and it was just great. It was awesome to spend time with her and her Mom, discuss her bright future, be told our school has been a great fit for her (only there for 1 year), and leave the meeting knowing I have made a difference in this young lady's life. Her mental health therapist was also at the meeting and paid me a huge compliment. She said that the program I have built the last two years if by far the best she has seen during her time on our campus. She went on to say that it is evident the students feel safe in here and therefore, are learning more as a result.

Then, in the afternoon I have been pulling two of my students out of their art/music elective class to work on reading. Both are non-readers. I am also learning to teach reading; it is much more difficult than I ever expected. But, during these sessions we work on phonemic awareness, fluency, sight words and then read a play together. Throughout the last 6 weeks, I have seen their confidence grow. They are more willing to try to sound out a word and work together to decode it.....today they told me both they feel GOOD about their reading ability. This is AMAZING to think about. The fact that they both realize their abilities, they are both 17 and can dedicate themselves to becoming better readers is not easy. It is difficult to leave your "pride" at the door and commit to something that has been so frustrating all of your life. After they told me that these sessions are helping their reading and that they notice a difference, we read a play we had already read as I wanted to see their progress. It was incredible to watch them read fluently, not stumble and if they did sound out the word instead of guessing.

My heart filled with pride and excitement for these two young people. I believe that with more time (next school year) I will be able to help these two great students improve their reading so they can be "functional" in the world. I can't wait!

Everyone has their own timeline....

I feel discouraged, sad and upset about the current education system in California. I feel deeply hurt and upset when I think about the status of my school next year. I feel even more disheartened when I think deeply about some of the students I have served who have since left my school. Where are they? Will they ever finish high school?

I just read another teacher's blog and she said something that resonates deeply with me. I feel like I HAVE TO believe in it with my whole heart in order to continue to have the motivation to teach where I do.

"Every student has their own timeline. I might be the right person at the wrong time.Students leave me and I trust that something down the line will pick them up and carry them where they need to go."

I like to think that when students drop out, go to juvenile hall or get kicked out that someone/something down the line will carry them where they need to go. But, in Oakland I just hear so many stories about failure especially when talking about African American stories.

The state of education is grim. 600 teachers in Oakland got pink slipped-that's 1/4 teachers in our district. At our school, decisions have not been made on the status of our school for next year. Where will students go?

In my class, students continue to come and go. I just had another male African American go back to juvenile hall. He chose "the streets" instead of education. Smart young man with what could be a BRIGHT future; I hope someday he finds that bright future. I would like to help him find his path in life but get exhausted by the dis-respect he shows, the language he uses and the choices he makes. Everyday I try to go back and give them endless choices...after all, they deserve an education.

But, is it just that I am the right person at the wrong time? Maybe...maybe they need to utterly fail before they realize what they "gave up"?

In a way, I hope I am the right person at the wrong time. It means at some point in the future, they will find the "right person" that will help them find their way. I want the best for them, I truly do even if I can't help them get there.