Staying...

For everyday that my students have tried and tested me, there has been a moment this year that has touched my heart and inspired hope in my soul. This time of year is when people are receiving pink slips, moving, transferring schools and/or giving up teaching as a profession. The students have been constantly asking if I will be back next year, even those who I never thought cared.

A colleague of mine told me something that sums it up:

The students will love you for it even though they have seemingly done everything in their power to drive you out. If you stay, the love they will show will forever leave an imprint in your heart. The students need you to commit to them, to offer them unconditional love and to see through to their success.

And this is why I will choose to stay and teach in Oakland.

Brought me to tears today...

Not many things have brought tears to my eyes, but a student did today. He is my infamous "genius" student who has put in minimal effort, has had attendance and behavior issues and who was pretty close to dropping out. And, then his blood father showed up. For the last 3 weeks, his Dad has been there every day ensuring his son is in class and taking care of business. It has been great to see and it has been paying off. His son has been in class, on time and his behavior has been impeccable.

And, today it came full circle. I had taken this student outside to dicuss a comment that he had made in class. And, I asked him how school has been the last couple of weeks. Here is how the conversation went:

S: School has been fun. It has been cool.
Me: Yeah, how have you felt the last 2 weeks?
S: I like being here and being successful. I can tell you I have been proud of myself for the 1st time in a long time.
Me: Have you told anyone that? I bet you can't tell the "brothers" that.
S: Yeah, I have told no one. But, it is a great feeling. I am proud of myself.
Me: I am proud of you. In the last 3 weeks, you have transformed into a student who I am proud to teach. I haven't known you in that capacity; I have known you as a person, but not as a student. I have been proud to teach you and see you grow the last 3 weeks. It is the best feeling in the world to be proud of yourself. Let it continue
S: Thanks Ms. S. I have really had fun the last 2 weeks.

And, I had tears in my eyes. What a great and incredible feeling for this young man! I hope that he can see the benefit of education and keep this feeling alive for the future. Wow! It was an inspiring 4th period.

And, during 1st period English I had the students write on 20 things that they believe in. I had given them some of my examples such as love, education, myself and God...and to read what they came up with---absolutly incredible. It is something that I hope I can get them to elaborate on in the future.

What a great week in the classroom...some students who I had thought I wouldn't see breakthroughs from are really stepping up and providing hope. I am extremely proud of my students and the progress that some of them have been able to make.

4 more days and then spring break. When we return, we have about 10 weeks to learn the most we can for 2009-2010. We gotta hit it hard!

0% of my students passed the CAHSEE

I am trying not to take it too personally or get down about my teaching but so far, 0% of the students have passed the CAHSEE (California Exit Exam) from my class. Now, I know I have only been there since August and some of these English and Math skills can't be built that quickly but it was extremely hard to tell 2 of my girls that they didn't pass. And the reality is none of my students are EVEN close to passing.

I know that the English portion will be hard for 99% of my students since none of them are reading at the grade level that the test is administered at. But, in math I thought that 2-3 of my students would be close to passing if they didn't pass. And everyday in math I teach to the CAHSEE standards....

So, I will persevere and teach better, more efficiently so that my students CAN pass the CAHSEE.

Urban Prep: 100 percent of Englewood’s Urban Prep Academy for Young Men admitted to college - chicagotribune.com

Urban Prep: 100 percent of Englewood’s Urban Prep Academy for Young Men admitted to college - chicagotribune.com

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This is a dream...one that could be reality in many places, but still a dream...

http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/happynews/ct-met-urban-prep-college-20100305,0,3299917.story

What stood out most for me was this:
"Only 4 percent of this year's senior class read at grade level as freshmen, said Tim King, the school's founder and CEO."

Amazing and incredible and many need to copy what that school is doing.

Human Work

I had a breakdown last Thursday. A kind of breakdown where I am sobbing the moment I try and talk, the breakdown where I am crying right outside of my classroom only to begin class with my students asking me what the problem is, the kind of breakdown where an unforeseen person says something that changes my perspective on the work I am doing....

As I was sobbing and expressing why I was so hurt/upset/angry/frustrated, he calmly told me

Nothing to be embarrassed about, this work is “human work”...it’s about people, relationships, trust, celebrations, mistakes, passion, anger, joy, etc.... It’s deep emotional work...

And I realized just why I was sobbing and that it was okay. It was okay because I care and as long as I care, I am making a difference in my students lives...