Parents words....

I was and still am having a major issue with one of my male students. He is truant from school regularly (I probably have seen him 8 or less times in 5 weeks) and when he is there he is high on marijuana, refusing to do any work and/or sleeping. He is 16 and has bounced around to 4 high schools already....

Yesterday, he was out of class and trying to get his bike out of my classroom. I let him know that he needed to return to class and he could get it at the end of school. He then stood in front of my door (all 6'4") and let me know I would not be getting into my room if he couldn't. So, I walked away and called his Mom. Here is what she said:

"Thank you for all the work you have been doing with my son. He is just acting so stupid and quite frankly, he is going to either end up dead or in jail."

I KNOW that he is causing just as many issues at home for her but it was VERY difficult to hear a mother say those things about her son. It reminded me how lucky I am for the family that I was raised in and the support system that I have.

When I see this young man again (he wasn't at school today) I am going to shower him with love and support because I think he needs to hear those words. Maybe it will bring him back to school.....

It will be okay

On Friday, I left work super upset about everything that had gone wrong in the morning. But, I forced myself to hang out with friends although I was exhausted and stumbled upon this....

So true, so true, so true....

Quite the day....

Today was a day to remember. It is funny because before school this morning, many of the teachers had made comments about how thankful they were that it was Friday, that it had been a tough week and although this week has not been a "walk in the park" it was not too much to handle. That all changed once 8:25 rolled around....

I am overwhelmed. Many of the 18 students I currently have need more support from me as well as interventions in order to get them on track to succeed. Just a few that I have in mind:

*My student who I have seen only a handful of times has refused to do ANY work in my class even with my 1 v 1 assistance. Today he got angry when I wouldn't allow him to charge his cell phone in class and threw the worksheet on the floor. He never returned for his 2 other class periods and come to find out, he stole a bicycle from his 1st period science class yesterday.

*Or, the student who I have done extensive intervention with and who I love dearly making zero progress in both his attendance, his academics and his behavior. Beginning Monday he will be suspended until he is finally expelled. I will cry about it because he has such potential but is yet another African American young male statistic who will not make it to high school graduation.

*Or at 1:16 when school was getting out and I was running around trying to call 5 different parents concerning 5 different behavior problems while trying to touch base with my principal regarding the above 2 issues and 2 different teachers corner me and tell me that they cannot deal with MY students and something needs to be done. First, they are not MY students...they are our students and we all need to work with them. Second, try interventions before you say you cannot teach them. I can have empathy if my students are behavioral concerns but I cannot if they behave, are present, but just can't grasp the material.

I had a little breakdown in front of one teacher and my assistant principal, but it just gives me upset when I think that I have 5 African American boys who probably will not graduate because they cannot behave in class, are not in class enough to succeed and are extremely dis-respectful and dis-engaged from school. I hope that I can work to get 1 back on track, but they each have SO many distractions that take them away from the importance of education....

I need to re-group this weekend, re-establish my priorities and return on Monday ready to rock my classroom because there has been some pretty great learning in there. In English all my students have written a complete paragraph and I cannot wait to share some of them!

Small victories...

Small victories are what make me smile....this week, although it was crazier than I like most of them and filled with off task behavior and dis-respect, we had some small victories.

Maybe it was Trell writing a paragraph in English on universal health care and how health care would impact East Oakland.

Or Denzell comparing San Francisco to Oakland because he has lived in both places. He wrote some profound things which showed his critical thinking skills.

Or Lamont writing an essay on being a scholar and stating that I am his favorite teacher because I take time with him, understand where he's coming from and give him a lot of chances to stay in school.

Or my math class taking a GROUP quiz today....they were working together to solve problems. They were asking questions to one another and they were teaching each other. This is the SAME class and same group of students who were fighting a year ago. Instead, they were building one another up in order to score well on the quiz.

Or my english language learners doing GREAT on their biology quizzes---they are studying, learning and being pushed academically.

Yes, there will always be areas of improvement for my students and for me. But, I can feel myself becoming a better and more effective teacher and classroom manager. I can choose to focus on all the negatives happening around me or I can continually push myself and my students because they are amazing me. In just 3 weeks, I have already seen progress.

I have had a smile on my face just thinking about some of the things they accomplished this week. They are writing, they are reading, they are doing math and most importantly, they are working together to conquer their learning. From where I came from last year this is the biggest victory yet....

Totally Inspired...just in time

I got a reminder why I teach where I do today...my students made me proud and deeply inspired me by their commitment to their education in class today.

In English, we have been doing a lot of writing and have been pre-writing in order to build up to the drafting process. Both of my English classes worked for 20 minutes on their pre-writes and came up with some incredible topics and statements. I had students writing on universal healthcare, the differences between San Francisco and Oakland, the motivation behind becoming a barber, family, football, life story, how running track relates to life and more....and beyond the pre-write, they then articulated their thoughts into a paragraph.

*Now, I know this doesn't sound like much but it was incredible to watch in my classroom*.

Writing is such a powerful tool. It is something that each of them can be proud of and instantly see their progress. I was so excited in class and said aloud "I am so pumped at the work each one of you is doing right now..." and one student replied (while laughing) "Ms. Searing, you are the only one." But, deep down I think they were already proud of themselves and each other.

It just reaffirms the fact that they can do it. They can be pushed academically and they can respond. Each of them can make progress in their reading and writing because in 3 short weeks, they have each learned to pre-write (it as a new concept for most) and draft. Now, comes the fun part-revising and publishing :)

*In History, we are doing current events so I focused on 9/11 today. One of my 9th graders wasn't writing when the other students were doing independent work so I asked why. He proceeded to tell me that he didn't know what 9/11 was and so he couldn't respond to the photo that we were all looking at. I was dumbfounded but then realized 2 things:

1. He was 4 when 9/11 happened.

2. No one has ever bothered teaching him about that day in history yet alone the effects of it on the U.S and the world.....

Sheltered lives some of my students live but yet amazing what they can teach me about "the streets"....

10 days in...

10 days since school started and although I feel better as a 2nd year teacher, I still feel totally overwhelmed. There is so much to do in order to serve my students how they each deserve. Mind you, I have a lot of students this year and each of them need/deserve their own eduction plan, individualized lessons and lots of attention.

I just can't do it all. But, the behavior has been much more manageable than last year. Today, my 3 infamous students decided to make math class a time to goof around, but that didn't last long. They were asked to take breaks/be dismissed which only leads them to escalate their behavior and prove how upset they are (aka cuss me out).

But, deep down these students just need love. They had summers full of boredom, violence, drugs, addiction, street life and come back defiant and resistant to school culture. Language needs to be addressed along with obedience of rules. But, besides that, they just need to be showed lots and lots and lots of love. They resist it and refute it but all I ever want to do is give each of them HUGE hugs as they walk in the door. Some of them let me and some of they don't. But, I still try.

Academically, especially in math, I have students at ALL levels. Some who cannot add or subtract and others who find it easy. Couple that with behavior and 67 minutes of math can seem like over 2 hours especially because it is always before lunch :)

On top of all of this, I was having a conversation with my principal right after school got out when he had to run out (literally run) because there had been a shooting down the street so our school was on lockdown. I think everyone was fine in the surrounding area, but imagine living in a community where that is common. Students treat it like it is nothing but deep down it is affecting them and I know it. The more love I can show them, the stronger they will be.

They continue to amaze me. Despite the language, the gestures, the lack of respect, the resistance....they continue to inspire me and change me. I think I could see some real break throughs this year----that is the goal.

Show no fear.

Shower them in love.

With that, I think I will see HUGE behavior changes and more importantly, huge strides in their academic levels. After 10 days, I still have a smile on my face :)

Because sometimes you need someone besides me

What a great 1st week! I feel confident both in my teaching, but in my ability to reach these students. Year 2 just feels so much different and I KNOW I can going to build on these feelings to make it a year. A year in which not only do I reach my students, but we make some SERIOUS academic gains. 175 days left...and I am PUMPED

Something I have known but quickly realized this week is sometimes my students need someone besides me. I can't always get in their heads, or make something make sense or say the right thing. So, I have started taping "weekly talking points" to their desk. This week it was Coach Pete Carroll's WIN FOREVER Philosophy which is something that can directly relate to anyone's life. I think I just found next week's:

There are some KEY phrases in there that I can identify with that I think my students can too.

"Life is Short"

"Some opportunities only come once, seize them"

"If you don't like something, change it"

"This is your life, do what YOU love"

I have some incredible young people in my classroom. Some young (14) and some old (19)...some who can read, and some who cannot. But, the common thread is they showed up the 1st week of school and I hope that I can say that same phrase June 16th...

Here's to year 2 and the growth that I make as a person and as an educator and more importantly, the growth that I help my students to make.