Just a quick story today...class was a bit rough but overall not terrible. But, one of my students today paid me a really big compliment (he made me smile) and this student is one who consistently is dismissed from class....
He had asked me twice if I was staying next year to teach and I had said I was. Then, I was dismissing him from class early (for acting out) and was speaking with him outside about motivation and getting his act together in order to pass his classes...and we had the following conversation:
Student: "Ms S. you gonna be my teacher next year?"
Me: "Yes, Lamont I will be here next year, why?"
Student: "Well, I don't care about being put in general ed classes if I can have you again next year."
Me: "Are you paying me a compliment? You like me as your teacher?"
Student: "You know I do Ms. S...just want you to stick around."
Made me smile for the rest of the day....
Monday, December 14, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Feelin' real good....
I feel really good about my classroom for the first time in a long time (sometime back in October!)...why you might ask?
We had a really good week together....no fights between students, a couple verbal jabs directed at me but I can handle 'em and we accomplished a lot of learning. And besides that, I received some really positive gestures from my students.
As mentioned in the previous post, the warm reception when I came to class yesterday and then today another student put a permanent smile on my face. In English I have been asking the students to write in their journals in preparation for writing an essay on their life (in the spring). They have been able to write about anything and if they want me to respond, they leave it with me and if not, they put it back on the shelf. Well, one of my girls had written earlier in the week about how tough life was, how unhappy she was, etc, etc. I responded with some positive uplifting words and then today, she wrote me the following:
"Ms. Searing...I know you are my teacher and maybe I shouldn't consider you a friend but when I walk through the classroom door every morning you brighten my day. You always ask how I am, and always listen no matter what I have to say. You make a difference in my life every single day and for that I love you."
Profound words from a 16 year old girl....make me want to go to school on Saturday and make a difference in her life tomorrow!
We had a really good week together....no fights between students, a couple verbal jabs directed at me but I can handle 'em and we accomplished a lot of learning. And besides that, I received some really positive gestures from my students.
As mentioned in the previous post, the warm reception when I came to class yesterday and then today another student put a permanent smile on my face. In English I have been asking the students to write in their journals in preparation for writing an essay on their life (in the spring). They have been able to write about anything and if they want me to respond, they leave it with me and if not, they put it back on the shelf. Well, one of my girls had written earlier in the week about how tough life was, how unhappy she was, etc, etc. I responded with some positive uplifting words and then today, she wrote me the following:
"Ms. Searing...I know you are my teacher and maybe I shouldn't consider you a friend but when I walk through the classroom door every morning you brighten my day. You always ask how I am, and always listen no matter what I have to say. You make a difference in my life every single day and for that I love you."
Profound words from a 16 year old girl....make me want to go to school on Saturday and make a difference in her life tomorrow!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Moment of gratitude
Today I took the opportunity to go and observe other classrooms similar to mine at a neighboring high school-I loved the experience and gained a lot of tools that will help me in the future to become a more successful teacher. I was on my way back to my classroom so I could relieve the lady who was subbing for me and I was nervous...I was not looking forward to 1 period of math because who knows what had happened without me there for the day.
And then I walked in my room...and immediately was greeted by 3 incredible moments that will sustain me for weeks to come.
1) One of my female students at the door expressing how much she had missed me and how glad she was that I was back.
2) A student who shows up to class and gives me a hard time usually but TODAY she came and just gave me a hug.
3) A student who was back for the 1st day post suspension (for cussing me out) coming and giving me a hug and almost refusing to let go. No words were exchanged just a good 'ol hug.
And it is these moments that let me know I have made a difference since August 31st. It is these moments that keep me up at night planning so that I can continue to impact the youth in Oakland.
Those 3 incidents meant more to me than most of the students will EVER know....
And then I walked in my room...and immediately was greeted by 3 incredible moments that will sustain me for weeks to come.
1) One of my female students at the door expressing how much she had missed me and how glad she was that I was back.
2) A student who shows up to class and gives me a hard time usually but TODAY she came and just gave me a hug.
3) A student who was back for the 1st day post suspension (for cussing me out) coming and giving me a hug and almost refusing to let go. No words were exchanged just a good 'ol hug.
And it is these moments that let me know I have made a difference since August 31st. It is these moments that keep me up at night planning so that I can continue to impact the youth in Oakland.
Those 3 incidents meant more to me than most of the students will EVER know....
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Words of Wisdom
This morning at a conference I had to attend as part of OTF, I was asked to give a welcome to other first year teachers...and here is what I said.....
I am currently teaching a high school special day class where I teach 4 core subjects to a group of 15 students on a daily basis.
It is hard to believe that it is the first week in December as I can vividly remember almost every single school day since August 31st.
I remember the very first student I met, K, who comes to class early every morning to play my favorite music, country. He does it just to be nice even though I know he secretly hates country music. I can remember L, the student who consistently gets dismissed from my class, coming back after school one day to ask if I would write a letter to his girlfriend for him. I remember the day that C, a student who ALWAYS says at least 1 highly inappropriate thing to me every day, staying at lunchtime to let me know that if any student tried to hurt me, he would be there to protect me because I am a good teacher. I also remember the 2nd day of school and the exact moment that I was caught like a deer in headlights when 2 boys started a physical fight inside my classroom-I was not prepared to react.
But, in a little over 3 months I have had the privilege to get to know 15 incredible students. Each of them arrives at school looking for love and support and the opportunity to learn so that they can succeed after high school. I would be lying if I said this job hasn’t tested my patience, determination and sheer will. My students have tested my ability to remain calm when there is nothing else calm in the room; they have forced me outside my comfort zone when trying to de-escalate a verbal/physical confrontation; my students have taught me what it means to be resilient when they show up to school every day no matter what.
I think the best way to characterize my experience thus far is to share this past Wednesday with you. This past week has been extremely tough with most of my students being involved in some sort of confrontation with one another, and many inappropriate behaviors during the time we spent together. During 2nd period, I was hardly teaching because I was dealing with students outside while still trying to maintain the class inside. A freshman student needed to be dismissed for the day and I was discussing with him outside the reasons why he was leaving and he started to cry with me. He didn’t go into much detail but let me know that I have no idea what home life is like. It was a BIG step for him as this student has always put up very tough skin. The bell rung and 3rd period came. It was still chaos. I decided that instead of teaching science that I would put my students in a circle and let them know the reality of what was going on. For the next 30 minutes, I talked and for the first time, there was complete silence in the room. Each student looked me in the eye and understood exactly what I was saying. I expressed to them why I am teaching in Oakland and why I show up to school every single day. I let my 15 students know that I love and support each one of them and the goals we have set for them are achievable. We talked about building a class community where we support one another and build each other up instead of tearing one another apart.
And, then I cried. I cried in front of my class. I couldn’t hold in my frustration, and the pure anxiety I have when I think that these 15 students may never graduate unless we can get them on track. I think ultimately they were shocked because no one said anything for a couple minutes. And then L, the student who I love and hate, said, “Well, we want you to know that we show up to school to see you for 4 1/2 hours a day for a reason. We make that choice when we wake up in the morning. I hope that means something to you.” He then came and gave me a hug…
To each of you, I hope that you have had that moment that has reaffirmed why you teach in Oakland. These students are incredibly brilliant, resilient and motivated. And it is our job to give them the quality education that they deserve. Thank you for the work you have done in the past 3 months and thank you for the incredible work you will continue to do for years to come…
I am currently teaching a high school special day class where I teach 4 core subjects to a group of 15 students on a daily basis.
It is hard to believe that it is the first week in December as I can vividly remember almost every single school day since August 31st.
I remember the very first student I met, K, who comes to class early every morning to play my favorite music, country. He does it just to be nice even though I know he secretly hates country music. I can remember L, the student who consistently gets dismissed from my class, coming back after school one day to ask if I would write a letter to his girlfriend for him. I remember the day that C, a student who ALWAYS says at least 1 highly inappropriate thing to me every day, staying at lunchtime to let me know that if any student tried to hurt me, he would be there to protect me because I am a good teacher. I also remember the 2nd day of school and the exact moment that I was caught like a deer in headlights when 2 boys started a physical fight inside my classroom-I was not prepared to react.
But, in a little over 3 months I have had the privilege to get to know 15 incredible students. Each of them arrives at school looking for love and support and the opportunity to learn so that they can succeed after high school. I would be lying if I said this job hasn’t tested my patience, determination and sheer will. My students have tested my ability to remain calm when there is nothing else calm in the room; they have forced me outside my comfort zone when trying to de-escalate a verbal/physical confrontation; my students have taught me what it means to be resilient when they show up to school every day no matter what.
I think the best way to characterize my experience thus far is to share this past Wednesday with you. This past week has been extremely tough with most of my students being involved in some sort of confrontation with one another, and many inappropriate behaviors during the time we spent together. During 2nd period, I was hardly teaching because I was dealing with students outside while still trying to maintain the class inside. A freshman student needed to be dismissed for the day and I was discussing with him outside the reasons why he was leaving and he started to cry with me. He didn’t go into much detail but let me know that I have no idea what home life is like. It was a BIG step for him as this student has always put up very tough skin. The bell rung and 3rd period came. It was still chaos. I decided that instead of teaching science that I would put my students in a circle and let them know the reality of what was going on. For the next 30 minutes, I talked and for the first time, there was complete silence in the room. Each student looked me in the eye and understood exactly what I was saying. I expressed to them why I am teaching in Oakland and why I show up to school every single day. I let my 15 students know that I love and support each one of them and the goals we have set for them are achievable. We talked about building a class community where we support one another and build each other up instead of tearing one another apart.
And, then I cried. I cried in front of my class. I couldn’t hold in my frustration, and the pure anxiety I have when I think that these 15 students may never graduate unless we can get them on track. I think ultimately they were shocked because no one said anything for a couple minutes. And then L, the student who I love and hate, said, “Well, we want you to know that we show up to school to see you for 4 1/2 hours a day for a reason. We make that choice when we wake up in the morning. I hope that means something to you.” He then came and gave me a hug…
To each of you, I hope that you have had that moment that has reaffirmed why you teach in Oakland. These students are incredibly brilliant, resilient and motivated. And it is our job to give them the quality education that they deserve. Thank you for the work you have done in the past 3 months and thank you for the incredible work you will continue to do for years to come…
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
What a return to school...
I had a whole 9 days away from my students and enjoyed every single minute of it...I was not ready to return to my classroom, to each of them and was really not ready to teach. But Monday rolled around and 90% of my class was on time to class (a rarity) and we had a good day together...I was surprised how well behaved they were for a Monday especially a Monday after a whole week off.
Then Tuesday came...my aide started in the classroom and what a first day he had. I think we had just about every single student out of the class at one point or another. Their behavior was AWFUL, insulting, dis-respectful...I hadn't seen them like this since September. But, we all got through it and I was glad when 4th period ended....I cried at the end of the day but got ready for today and having a much better day.
Well, I can report that today is a day to remember in my teaching career. It was the first time that I openly wept in front of my students. Again, their behavior was off task, disrespectful towards one another, very little work being completed and defiant of requests. I took a student outside between 2nd and 3rd period to escort him to the office when he started crying because he was so upset about his home life. He didn't go into details but to see this student angry and crying just broke my heart. I went inside the classroom and made my students sit in a circle and gave them a talk for about 30 minutes and that is where I cried. I expressed my frustration at not being able to teach them because of all the bul-shit in the classroom and I expressed how dis-heartened I was that I was not helping them earn a diploma because I was trying to control their actions. I reaffirmed my love for them and let them know that I show up for a reason because I care about every single one of them but that this classroom could not remain how it has been. I was embarrassed that I cried but then again, maybe they needed to see that I am human, that I have feelings and that I truly care about them. Maybe they need a reality check of how I feel as their teacher. I don't know if it had any impact or whether they will think about it when they go home tonight...but it happened and I will never be able to take those tears back.
I also had a very scary moment when a female student stopped responding at the end of class and went limp (we couldn't feel a pulse). I immediately called my principal who called 911 but she was "out" for about 2 minutes and when she became alert again, she was unable to answer any questions. I feel terrible for this girl but she suffers from panic attacks and there is no telling why she gets them or what causes them. I was very very scared and will be following up.
This job has thrown some very trying days in my way...today was no exception.
Then Tuesday came...my aide started in the classroom and what a first day he had. I think we had just about every single student out of the class at one point or another. Their behavior was AWFUL, insulting, dis-respectful...I hadn't seen them like this since September. But, we all got through it and I was glad when 4th period ended....I cried at the end of the day but got ready for today and having a much better day.
Well, I can report that today is a day to remember in my teaching career. It was the first time that I openly wept in front of my students. Again, their behavior was off task, disrespectful towards one another, very little work being completed and defiant of requests. I took a student outside between 2nd and 3rd period to escort him to the office when he started crying because he was so upset about his home life. He didn't go into details but to see this student angry and crying just broke my heart. I went inside the classroom and made my students sit in a circle and gave them a talk for about 30 minutes and that is where I cried. I expressed my frustration at not being able to teach them because of all the bul-shit in the classroom and I expressed how dis-heartened I was that I was not helping them earn a diploma because I was trying to control their actions. I reaffirmed my love for them and let them know that I show up for a reason because I care about every single one of them but that this classroom could not remain how it has been. I was embarrassed that I cried but then again, maybe they needed to see that I am human, that I have feelings and that I truly care about them. Maybe they need a reality check of how I feel as their teacher. I don't know if it had any impact or whether they will think about it when they go home tonight...but it happened and I will never be able to take those tears back.
I also had a very scary moment when a female student stopped responding at the end of class and went limp (we couldn't feel a pulse). I immediately called my principal who called 911 but she was "out" for about 2 minutes and when she became alert again, she was unable to answer any questions. I feel terrible for this girl but she suffers from panic attacks and there is no telling why she gets them or what causes them. I was very very scared and will be following up.
This job has thrown some very trying days in my way...today was no exception.
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