It has been awhile since my last post....due in part to weekend vacations, and IEPS needing to be written but also just the pure exhaustion that I feel at this point in the year. Things in the classroom have been moving, whether they are moving as quickly in a positive direction as I would have hoped, I am still not sure. I am sure that I absolutly cannot wait for Thanksgiving break and those 10 days I get away from my classroom. I feel like I need a good kick in the butt to get inspired again.
This is not to say I have given up. I think that I have done anything but that. But, I think I have begun to get frustrated that my students don't necessarily care about their learning and/or grades. They sit in class, some listen and some don't, and then they complain or tear the quiz up when they can't answer the questions. If they would half the effort into their learning as they do with their disruptions, their potential would soar. Class would be enjoyable 95% of the time and we would have WAY more fun than we are right now. The same handful of students continue to give me problems and I have now resorted to trying to work with them, but also dismissing them from class for the day...it gets to them more than they admit to me.
The second grading period ends next Friday and I have a senior who is failing 5 out of 6 of his classes and doesn't seem to care (he has passed the previous 3 years). I have tried multiple strategies to engage him and just can't seem to. I have a junior who sits in the back of the room with a blank stare and completes just about 5% of his work. I have a freshman who comes to school just about once a month and each time she does, is asked to leave because she starts a fight with someone in the class and I have another freshman who comes to school high some mornings....and then I have 5 fantastic students who are on time to class every single day, who greet me in and out of the classroom, who ask how my day was or how my family was, who ask questions and want to succeed in class but also beyond. Those 5 students are some of the most resilent and fantastic individuals I have met...they show up and they might be hungry, or upset from the night before, or tired but they give 100% and are respectful and those are the 5 that I teach too. I wish I could say all 14 of mine have those same characteristics, but you know what...if I can teach to those 5 and help the other 9 to change their life in SOME aspect, then I will have succeeded.
One more week...5 more days to teach...5 days to make a HUGE impact in one of those children's lives...I can do it.
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P.S. On another note, I got a huge compliment on Tuesday...I now have an instructional aide working in my classroom 3 periods during the day. He is fantastic and a huge help to both me but also the students. But, the students were all not that receptive to having a "stranger" in the room and on Tuesday were asking me questions about why we need him, what he will do, etc and my one student (who is usually awesome, but not always) said,
"But you are such a great teacher-you don't need any help. You do just fine on your own."
Oh, if only he knew how much stress he causes me!!!!!
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