Doin' the best I can...

I remember this time last year...the 7th week of school when you begin to become a bit exhausted by the work. The physical and emotional toll have hit me but I think the biggest difference this year is that I can SEE just how dysfunctional parts of the district are. I have begun to view programs/services/departments with a critical eye and am frustrated. Today, people saw that frustration on my face.

I am a teacher and I don't make that much money for the work that I am doing. Work that I think should be valued and respected because it is IMPORTANT. I have 19 lives depending on me to educate them so that they can become productive members of society. I have only been at my school site for a year now, but I would like to think I understand my students better than an outsider.

The district or rather special education assigned me a reading coach. I love having people in my room and openly invite anyone to observe me, the students and provide me feedback. That is what allows me to become a better teacher and thus impacting my students in a positive manner. So, the reading coach observed me today. I have already had a very negative interaction with her a month ago while I was attending training. But, I was looking forward to someone observing me and providing me feedback in order to enhance my teaching. I also think that I am very good at receiving feedback even if it is critical-that's a skill I learned playing sports.

Well for 30 minutes today, this reading coach did not have a single positive thing to say to me about my classroom or my teaching. I sat there in disbelief, holding back tears because I was so frustrated. I can't believe that she observed me for 30 minutes with students who she does not know and then provided me with the feedback that she did. Even if she feels that I am an ineffective teacher, she did not go about providing suggestions in a constructive way. I am extremely frustrated and hurt. The worst part about it is she is coming back tomorrow.

I know that I need to move past it today and take what I can from what she said and put it to good use in order to inform my teaching...I also need to put a smile back on my face and remember who I am there to influence-the students...Ultimately, I am there to teach the students. I am there to influence them in a positive way so that they stay off the streets and in the classroom. No matter what, they rely on me to be a stable source of positivity and inspiration....

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday :)