Community

Defines the school community in which I work...

"A supportive community is as fundamental to the well-being of our spirit as a healthy mind or body. Our community is the place that welcomes and embraces us in the world. It demands of us care and commitment, and in exchange for this we receive a group of people who are there to praise us when we do well and help us when we falter. It is the space where we are validated, where we are seen and respected as who we are, instead of being admired or rejected according to the standards of a world of strangers. When we fall out of grace, the community makes our failure bearable. Again and again we fall from grace, and then we heal with the support of those around us. As we live our lives, this is what creates and defines our community." - Sobonfu E. Some.

Heart filled with pride...

This year is a bit different than last because I have 3 students graduating. My heart has been filled with immense pride the last few days-moments like this:

• A 5th year senior presenting on the Holocaust, telling teachers he knew nothing about it before this year, relating it to his life and Oakland, and reflecting on his journey through high school. All of us teachers had tears in our eyes at the end of his presentation.
• Another senior writing me a letter that filled my eyes with tears (see below for text).
• Seeing seniors "own" their work and take responsibility for it.

This is why I teach and this is why I specifically teach in Oakland...

I want to thank you for all that you done for me this year. You have taught me how to advocate for myself. Before I met you I didn’t know how to stand up for myself. You are an amazing person and I thank God for sending you to help me. I only have one class with you but I have learned so much just seeing you once a day for class.

I appreciate everything that you do for me and I know that you don’t have to. You are a very kind person with a beautiful heart. It made me feel good to know that you cared so much about me and what I have to say. I have never met a teacher like you ,ever in all of my nineteen years of life.

When I didn’t understand something you were there to help me. You made it clear for me and there I can only say thank you. When I felt like I couldn’t make it in my English class you were there to help me with her work. You spoke with her to make things simple for me. I was so happy that you did this for me I will never forget that it was you that helped me reach the point at where I am now. When I needed help with work outside of your class you spoke with some of my teachers and helped me with my work. I am very grateful that I came to (school name) and met you. Your this amazing person that doesn’t mind helping. Being around you I feel smart not slow like some people say that I am. I feel like I can do anything. You make learning fun and interesting and when I am around you I can be me the funny person that I am around my family. I am so happy that I got to meet a wonderful person like you that really cares about me and my goals. You never said I couldn’t but you were to say that I can do it. When I felt like giving up you were there to say that I can do it. When I had a question you were there to answer it. Yes we have had our ups and downs but you still never gave up on me and there fore I can only say thank you. When I first met you I knew that moment that you would be the right teacher for me that was going to help me become a better me. I thank you for all the help that you given me. You showed me that I can do things without help from others as well as use the help from others. With you I have a voice and I never felt that I had one before. I always thought I was to do what people expected of me to do, not beyond that. Having you as my teacher I knew that you wanted more from me because I could do more. I am proud that I got to learn from you. I have learned that I have a voice and all have to do is be clear and speak up. You taught me how to use my voice to get what I need and there I can only say thank you for helping me out. I know that that the skills you have taught me will come in hand because they are life long skills that I know I need. I appreciate all that you have done for me and what you still do for me now. At the beginning of the year my scheduler was mixed up it was you that helped me get in the right classes you mean so much to me. I know you didn’t have to it but you did and I want to say thank you. I would still be in the wrong classes and classes that I didn’t need if it wasn’t for you. I thank you for being there to talk with my teachers when I was failing behind. Thank you for not getting mad at me when I did stupid stuff. I appreciate you staying by my side to help me and make sure that I understand what I was doing so that I wouldn’t be confused and lost.

No words to describe my heart...

Today was another day I will never forget....I am saddened, upset, frustrated and most of all determined to continue to show my students endless amounts of love and support...short story is that one of my students told me last week about a sexual assault and today I found out more details. This young person endured a very scary situation in which I am thankful they are alive, at least physically.

It reminded me yet again how crucial the work I am doing is...and how much trust this individual has in me that they would tell me, and only me (of course I had to report it)...

So because I am speechless, distraught, upset...I am going to turn it over to the sermon at my church this past weekend...

The series is called 'Honorology' and one of the main points is that we can elevate others with honor...

"Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other." -Romans 12: 9-10

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. -Ephesians 4:29

I will continue to shower my students with honor...shower them with kindness-I just never know how far that can go...

Lots of love

Another young life taken too early...

I just found out that today while all teachers were enjoying a taco lunch, a senior was shot on killed while on his way home. It is still unclear whether he was involved in the shoot-out or whether he was an innocent bystander but he is no longer with us. He was set to graduate in 3 weeks; the same graduation that I will be sitting through; the same graduation that C. Jones should have been at but he is also in heaven.

After receiving the news, I then read another article...

http://www.insidebayarea.com/ci_18131550?source=most_viewed

Mixed emotions...mixed feelings....again confirms just how important the work I am doing really is...

You would be proud of me?

A 12th grade student who should be walking the stage June 17th, but will not due to failing his classes said something that will stick in my heart for a long time to come. We were having a conversation as he expressed he was just going to drop out; it went like this:

Me: Do you know what life may be like without a high school diploma? Your options are limited but with a diploma you will have choices.

Student: I am just thinking it is better to drop out.

Me: I don't think you fully understand how excited I get when I think about you and the other students graduating. I imagine you walking the stage, shaking our principal's hand and I get tears in my eyes. I will be in the stands with signs, blow horns, and balloons but more than anything, I stand proud. I will be SO proud of you when you cross that stage.

Student: You would be proud of me?

Me: It would be one of my proudest moments as a teacher. And, I would know that you would leave our school with options. With those options, I know you will be successful. You are capable of so much, but it requires a high school diploma.

Student: You would really be proud of me?

Me: Do you see these tears? (I was crying at this point)...It is because I care so much about you and your future. When your graduation comes, I will be nothing but proud. Believe it-dream of it and picture it because you can do it. It is in your grasp.

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It was one of those conversations that touched me for a couple of reasons...

1) Reminded me just how much I care for these young people.

2) Reminded me that they don't regularly get told they are loved or that people are proud of them. They "want" that affirmation and need it to keep a perspective on life.

Everyone needs to be told they are loved. Everyone needs to be reaffirmed once and awhile. None of us are exempt...it just so happens that the students I work with rarely get told it.

I can't wait for June 17th. I can't wait to see my students, some of the most "at risk" students in Oakland both for where they live and their disability, walk the stage. They are capable of greatness and on June 17th I will be the proudest teacher in the world. I can guarantee that.

Full of smiles...

After what proved to be a challenging week, Friday brought a couple of milestones that will forever remain in my heart and reinvigorate my enthusiasm for why I teach what I do and where I do...

First, last week was "Teacher Appreciation Week" and as a writing assignment in English, the students were instructed to write a letter to the teacher of their choice, but it couldn't be me to appreciate them for the work they do. We worked on it Monday, Wednesday and the final draft was to be written Friday and delivered to the teachers. Well, 3 of my students walked in Friday with 2 letters-one to another teacher and one to me. The 3 letters written to me inspired me to continue working hard to impact not only these student's lives, but their academic achievement. Just a couple sentences from the letters:

"I feel safe in your classroom"

"I like to kick it with you and you give good advice. Thanks for the time you take to teach me reading-it is paying off."

"I know you want me to be the best student, learner and person humanely possible. I am going to try to be that person for you and for myself."

"You are a great teacher with a strict way of putting things, but I respect that."

All 3 letters brought tears to my eyes. It is proof that I am making a difference and at times, I doubt myself.

The second INCREDIBLE news that I received after school on Friday is that 2 of my students passed parts of the CAHSEE (California Exit Exam). Now, I know this might not sound like a big deal but my students typically are not in the range to feasibly pass this test. But, two young men did. One passed the math section and one passed the English test. I am SO proud of these two students and it brought a huge smile to my face all weekend to think just how much this means to the students. Forget the fact that it means I am teaching....this means THE WORLD to the students, for them to feel "normal" within the school, for them to feel that they can in fact learn at the same pace of their peers and that they are capable. I didn't get the chance to tell the students on Friday, but was able to call home and spoke to one father who was just gleaming over the phone. I can't wait to see the students tomorrow and give them a HUGE hug-it makes me smile just to think about it.

So, upward and onward....I think there are 6 weeks left in the school year---never too late to continue making a difference!

Students calling themselves "stupid"...

It breaks my heart. To see anyone especially a young person call themselves "stupid" or dumb...it usually happens as a joke but today this young lady was serious and it broke my heart.

I have gotten two new female students recently. Both nice, mostly respectful young ladies who have not succeeded in school. Both have moved around, have pretty terrible attendance and are very unengaged in school.

One of the girls today refused to do the work in history even when I was working with her 1 v 1 and just kept repeating "I am so dumb. I am stupid-I can't do this. I am stupid." So, we stopped and talked outside....her tears just came coming as I spoke. I reinforced what a brilliant mind she has, the potential she has and cited examples that I have seen in 3 short weeks. I tried as best as possible to build her up so that she could believe what I already know-just what an incredible human being she is. She couldn't stop crying and wouldn't talk to me about it so I asked to give her a hug and we went back to class. It broke my heart because I know there is a LOT MORE she has to say/feel inside.

It makes me wonder if anyone has ever confirmed her brilliance and her talent and her ability. I have no idea what home life is and I don't want to infer. But, something is causing her to call herself stupid over and over again in school.

From there, she just went downhill and had some moderate behavior problems today. She went on to yell at me and tell me that I don't care, I don't care about teaching, listening or anything. I think that not many things deep down get to me, but this did. It was really hard to have her tell me that I don't care. I care more than any of those young people probably realize. I think about the students E.V.E.R.Y single day...I think about what will motivate them, what they need to learn to succeed, opportunities I can provide for them, and just how important my time is for their life.

I can only hope that she will begin to see just how much I care about her and her education.