4 weeks in....reality hits

The "honeymoon" was nice while it lasted. No longer can my smiling face and positive attitude do the trick---relationships need to be solidified, trust needs to be present, and constant love needs to be in the classroom. I was reminded of that today and I lost my patience.

I teach a very tricky class to students whom I don't know all that well. They have all  yet to pass the CAHSEE exam in math and thus need to in order to graduate high school. These are all students who are low on self esteem but tend to hide that with laughter, lack of effort and motivation, and a refusal to work in groups.

Today, I lost it in class. A student provided an answer to a math question I had asked and he was wrong. This particular student has a learning disability and I was so proud of him for sharing his answer. Another young lady laughed the moment he said the wrong answer which is the number one rule I am not willing to negotiate on. She could not see what she did wrong and I proceeded to get angry and lecture.

I don't think I handled it well although I do think I proved the point that it is not tolerated in my classroom. I am not willing to give that up as all students deserve an environment where they can take risks in order to learn. But, I don't think I handled the confrontation well and I wasted classroom minutes in the process.

Here's to tomorrow and not letting a student ruin the classroom community that I have built. Here is to these 22 students passing the Math CAHSEE exam in two weeks and continuing to put their best foot forward.

Here is to the "honeymoon" being over and students investing in deep, caring relationship with adults and each other to further the learning process.

Three weeks in...

Three weeks in and reality has set in. The work that must be done is apparent; the relationships that must be developed are pressing; the DIRE need of certain students is showing itself. In addition to serving special education students, I am teaching a CAHSEE (California High School Exit Exam) math class for students who have yet to pass. It is a class filled with mostly seniors who have not yet passed a test based on 7-8th grade standards. It is the highlight of my day :)

I LOVE it! These are students who have ALWAYS felt unsuccessful in school but they are total sweethearts and trying so hard. I feel like I am ABLE to make them feel successful, push them and be their cheerleader. They get five opportunities to pass this year and if they don't, they don't graduate. I feel IMMENSE pressure to have them pass and I am doing everything possible to make sure that happens. First test date is in October-we shall see.

Here is to building relationships, being consistent, and building a class where each student pushes each other so that they can get to that diploma; I dream about a class where 100% pass this CAHSEE math and 100% of my special education students graduate....

Pray for me :)

Leadership..

Leadership is something I have been thinking a lot about as I enter both my fourth year teaching and enter with a desire to do something bigger. This is a GREAT reminder of the small moments that make all the difference...

http://www.ted.com/talks/drew_dudley_everyday_leadership.html?source=tumblr#.UCCNFgnzRLO.tumblr

Bring on Year #4....

It is hard to believe I am about to start my 4th year of teaching. I report back tomorrow morning and feel a wave of emotions. I am excited, nervous, anxious and scared but am SO excited because it all feels right.

Although I will be teaching at the same school, I am taking on a new role as a resource specialist. It is still working with students with disabilities but more in the general education environment. All students on my caseload are in general education classes and it is my job to ensure they are successful whether that is through co-teaching or small group pull-out. I am really excited to transition into this new role. I think that I will encounter some challenges that will be very different than my challenges the last three years. I am excited to see what is in store for me.

In addition, my school closed. I will be on the same campus, but three schools merged into one. This is an exciting time, but also a challenging one. Look for more on this as time passes in the next couple of weeks. I feel fortunate to be at a school where the possibilities are endless and my professional growth as a teacher leader is valued.

May this year bring much success, laughter, moments of glory, hard work and dedication....May it also bring stories of success for the young people who walk through the doors on August 27th!

Thoughtful and meaningful gift

After 3 years of teaching a young man, he gave me this as a thank-you gift on Friday....

He came to me after being in Non-Public Day School and living in a group home. We had our fair share of behavior issues, trust issues, attendance and attitude issues but I do believe that I changed his life in a positive way.

Last school year, I put a different quote on the whiteboard each day. Some days I would read it aloud to the class, some days students would comment on it and some days it would just go untouched and unnoticed. Or so I thought.

These two quote boards will forever symbolize my classroom and my first three years teaching at my school. They represent the love, passion, inspiration, dedication and resiliency that my students showed me but I also showed to them. It paid off. This young man noticed. He changed his life in a positive way and is on his way to accomplishing his dreams. And I know that I played a part in that.

Because he noticed, he wanted to give back to me. Well, he gave me the perfect thing. Quotes that will symbolize and represent all that he NOTICED and all that he gave to me.

Nothing but love...

Final words from my principal...

At our school closing celebration, my principal said these words about me (I forever want to remember these as she is a mentor and a close friend and her words mean the world to me)...

I see in you the hope and light and sunshine and Martin Luther King Jr. style compassion and goodness. I see dedication and tenacity and pure will and a golden heart. I see you smiling through the low and the rough. I see perseverance and a deep sense of purpose. I have been lucky to know you, to watch you grow as a teacher, to witness your leadership through shining positive example. You are a practitioner of love, and this practice has enveloped the people around you.

A thousand words...

A thousand words come to mind when I see these pictures (more on what those words are another day) but I started three years ago with among others, these 5 students. Yesterday, they made their dreams a reality when they graduated high school. Kind words, tears, gratitude, smiles and passion were shared between them, their families and myself and it just further RE-AFFIRMED that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing in life.