My students have shown me an incredible amount of commitment, resilience, heart, and a fair share of "real life". I have learned so much about society, hardship, academic learning, inequalities but also how rewarding it can be to continue on this journey we call life.
In the process, I have begun to learn how to teach. I have grown in so many ways both as a person and as a teacher. I know that I have a million miles to continue walking down this path, but after 180 days as a first year teacher I am confident and dedicated to becoming the best possible teacher and person I can be.
I have so many moments/experiences/commentary to reflect on in coming days, weeks, months and years. But, I want to just put some of these on paper so as not to forget them now and later on in life.
*This list is in no particular order...*
1. Life is not fair. We cannot help the family we are born into or the circumstances in which our families are in, BUT my students have shown me what it means to overcome those circumstances. We all only have 1 blood family and we can love them for who and what they are, but we also can pursue our dreams always remembering where we came from.
I think that I have grown immensely as a person because of my students. I have learned what it means to grow up in a community with a family completely opposite of mine and what that means. I have learned the inequalities that exist within society and what that means for life and for education. I have been able to reflect each and everyday with these TRUTHS embedded in my mind and heart. And, I vow to continue working hard because these young people deserve the BEST education they can get just like I had.
2. Teaching reading is difficult. Seeing students who are young adults unable to read is unreal. It shows just how much the education system has failed them. And, for them it is the most frustrating thing in their life. Most will never express that, but a couple of times students have broken down in tears because they want to learn to read so badly, but no one has been able to teach them.
I am not an expert, but I vow to become one. I want to teach these young people how to read because "Reading is the road to Freedom".
3. I am constantly humbled by people at my school. It has been the most difficult 365 days of my life both emotionally and physically, but watching other teachers and students interact humbles me and reminds me why I am doing the work I do. Each teacher cares SO much about the youth in our community and goes out of their way to show just how much they care. But, the flipside is there can be so many disappointments, heartaches and upsets that exist in our community. An example is the fact that we have only 6 African American males graduating this year. Now, we should have 110 seniors graduating (# that started freshman year), but we have 30. And, there are only 6 A.A. males. It makes me sick to my stomach when I think about that. But, as a staff we show up, we show that we care, we teach, and we teach, and we teach. We vow to give them the best quality education in the state so that they can succeed after high school in a career and not the streets. The truth is, not everyone will make it. But, I will try my damnest to ensure that my students get to high school graduation.
4. BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT, BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT, BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT!
I think I have grown so much in this area. I am ready to conquer my classroom next year because I am confident I can manage any behavior in my class. I have seen HUGE gains from my students in their behavior and cannot wait to work with them next year.
5. 85% of young adults who go to juvenile hall will return to juvenile hall. It breaks my heart to see our students caught up with the law. Many of them just don't walk away when put in a bad situation and many feel that they have to be in those situations to 'make a living'. But, at the end of the day, school is the BEST place for these young people because education will get them out of their current situation. But, saying that and listening to that is a different story. At first, I was intimidated by juvenile hall and the young adults that came out of there. But, at the end of the day these young people don't bite...they are rough around the edges, but have a soft spot deep down. They show up because they want to earn their education although they may put up a fight in the beginning. I need to continue to break down their walls so I can find that soft spot. At the end of the day, they are still kids.
At the end of the day, I may not have been able to teach my students everything I had wanted. There is still so much room for each of them to grow academically and I have big plans for each of them next year. But, I have created experiences and memories that many of them will remember for the rest of their life. I have led by example, preached values and morals, exposed them to new things and hopefully positively influenced their life. I want to impact their life in bigger ways but I am SO proud of myself and the work they have done this year. I made it to the finish line...never thought I would get here!
This morning before school, I had 4 of my favorite students hanging out in my room and it reminded me of the good things I have done with them. We were able to just hang out, converse, joke with one another and each of them had positive things to say about school, each other, and me. The relationships they have begun to establish with one another are so important in building a community where each can seek safety, trust and love. I hope that I have shown them trust, love, and a safe place...at the end of the day, each of them need and deserve that.
Just to post some pictures--I took my students to the Oakland A's game and we had a BLAST watching the Angels beat the A's :)
Get Ready 2010-2011! I am ready to continue to impact the youth in a positive, uplifting and academic rigorous way....2 months and I will be back!
1 comment:
I'm so proud of you sister. What a year you've had!
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