Memory # 1 from 2010-2011

In order to capture the true essence of my experience, I plan to post "moments" that captured my heart....

I have already had my 1st one----

This year I moved classrooms from a portable to the school hallways. I am thrilled to be inside the building and to build on school culture around special education. But, I was not looking forward to the moving process as I do have quite a lot of stuff (thanks to my Mom).

The day I was moving everything, Lamont was on campus to register with his Aunt. Lamont and I spent about 10 minutes catching up about summer and he was asking me questions about the upcoming school year. I asked him if he wanted to help me move and he spent the next 3 hours helping me lift boxes and furniture into and out of my car. During that time, we were able to further develop our relationship and I will forever cherish Lamont's generosity and effort.

1st day of school....

I am pumped! Tomorrow is the 1st day of school and I am feeling anxious but excited. I cannot wait to see my returning students and meet all of the new ones! Our staff had a solid 2 days of professional development where we set goals for ourselves and the school and I am excited to build on those goals throughout the year.

Although the work load seems the same, I am feeling much better about managing the classroom and thus my students. I am supposed to have 25 students coming through tomorrow which makes me angry but something that I will have to adapt to if they all show up.

Serving 25 students in my population is unfair to the students, to me and to my school. The district is doing a major dis-service by thinking that they can be properly educated in a classroom with 24 others. So, already we have fought our way in order to provide the best quality education to these young people.

So, here is to a year full of greatness. My heart is full of love and I plan to show no fear and shower as much love on these young people as humanly possible....

Year # 2 approaching...

Well, it's August 12th and I officially have 18 days until the start of the school year. It will be my 2nd year teaching many of the same students at the same school and I am both excited yet nervous.

I have tried to do some deep thinking over summer about changes I want to make to both make me a more effective teacher, but also make my classroom a better place to be for the students. I am excited to implement some of these changes and see the effects that they will have.

I am proud to say I have long term plans for the 3 subjects I am teaching-English, History and Math and hope that it will make a big difference in my teaching as well as my students learning.

I am also STOKED because the district is providing a reading program and a math program for my classroom....yes, it is scripted and may be a bit dry but it is proven to work and I cannot wait to see the results of it. I plan to supplement the program with my teaching to make a HUGE impact.

I should have at least 8, if not 10 students returning from last year and plan on having another 6-8 new students. I think that this will have a big impact on behavior since the returning students know what to expect from me and what is acceptable behavior in the classroom.

Needless to say, I have had a very relaxing and rejuvenating summer and am gearing up physically and emotionally to be the best 2nd year teacher I can....

Here's to August 30th and seeing the old and new students...

Made it to the finish line...

It is the night before the last day of school and I can officially announce that I made it to the finish line. There have been plenty of moments where I doubted my decision to move to Oakland, to teach in Oakland and to finish out my 1st year of teaching. But, for each of those moments there has been a moment that will forever be ingrained in my heart and mind reminding me why I made the choice to move to Oakland and teach.

My students have shown me an incredible amount of commitment, resilience, heart, and a fair share of "real life". I have learned so much about society, hardship, academic learning, inequalities but also how rewarding it can be to continue on this journey we call life.

In the process, I have begun to learn how to teach. I have grown in so many ways both as a person and as a teacher. I know that I have a million miles to continue walking down this path, but after 180 days as a first year teacher I am confident and dedicated to becoming the best possible teacher and person I can be.

I have so many moments/experiences/commentary to reflect on in coming days, weeks, months and years. But, I want to just put some of these on paper so as not to forget them now and later on in life.

*This list is in no particular order...*

1. Life is not fair. We cannot help the family we are born into or the circumstances in which our families are in, BUT my students have shown me what it means to overcome those circumstances. We all only have 1 blood family and we can love them for who and what they are, but we also can pursue our dreams always remembering where we came from.

I think that I have grown immensely as a person because of my students. I have learned what it means to grow up in a community with a family completely opposite of mine and what that means. I have learned the inequalities that exist within society and what that means for life and for education. I have been able to reflect each and everyday with these TRUTHS embedded in my mind and heart. And, I vow to continue working hard because these young people deserve the BEST education they can get just like I had.

2. Teaching reading is difficult. Seeing students who are young adults unable to read is unreal. It shows just how much the education system has failed them. And, for them it is the most frustrating thing in their life. Most will never express that, but a couple of times students have broken down in tears because they want to learn to read so badly, but no one has been able to teach them.

I am not an expert, but I vow to become one. I want to teach these young people how to read because "Reading is the road to Freedom".

3. I am constantly humbled by people at my school. It has been the most difficult 365 days of my life both emotionally and physically, but watching other teachers and students interact humbles me and reminds me why I am doing the work I do. Each teacher cares SO much about the youth in our community and goes out of their way to show just how much they care. But, the flipside is there can be so many disappointments, heartaches and upsets that exist in our community. An example is the fact that we have only 6 African American males graduating this year. Now, we should have 110 seniors graduating (# that started freshman year), but we have 30. And, there are only 6 A.A. males. It makes me sick to my stomach when I think about that. But, as a staff we show up, we show that we care, we teach, and we teach, and we teach. We vow to give them the best quality education in the state so that they can succeed after high school in a career and not the streets. The truth is, not everyone will make it. But, I will try my damnest to ensure that my students get to high school graduation.

4. BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT, BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT, BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT!
I think I have grown so much in this area. I am ready to conquer my classroom next year because I am confident I can manage any behavior in my class. I have seen HUGE gains from my students in their behavior and cannot wait to work with them next year.

5. 85% of young adults who go to juvenile hall will return to juvenile hall. It breaks my heart to see our students caught up with the law. Many of them just don't walk away when put in a bad situation and many feel that they have to be in those situations to 'make a living'. But, at the end of the day, school is the BEST place for these young people because education will get them out of their current situation. But, saying that and listening to that is a different story. At first, I was intimidated by juvenile hall and the young adults that came out of there. But, at the end of the day these young people don't bite...they are rough around the edges, but have a soft spot deep down. They show up because they want to earn their education although they may put up a fight in the beginning. I need to continue to break down their walls so I can find that soft spot. At the end of the day, they are still kids.

At the end of the day, I may not have been able to teach my students everything I had wanted. There is still so much room for each of them to grow academically and I have big plans for each of them next year. But, I have created experiences and memories that many of them will remember for the rest of their life. I have led by example, preached values and morals, exposed them to new things and hopefully positively influenced their life. I want to impact their life in bigger ways but I am SO proud of myself and the work they have done this year. I made it to the finish line...never thought I would get here!

This morning before school, I had 4 of my favorite students hanging out in my room and it reminded me of the good things I have done with them. We were able to just hang out, converse, joke with one another and each of them had positive things to say about school, each other, and me. The relationships they have begun to establish with one another are so important in building a community where each can seek safety, trust and love. I hope that I have shown them trust, love, and a safe place...at the end of the day, each of them need and deserve that.

Just to post some pictures--I took my students to the Oakland A's game and we had a BLAST watching the Angels beat the A's :)






Get Ready 2010-2011! I am ready to continue to impact the youth in a positive, uplifting and academic rigorous way....2 months and I will be back!

Disparity in prison and educational spending...

Yet another article that highlights 2 men who are leading very different lives, but highlights the HUGE disparity between prison spending and educational spending especially in California.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/13/opinion/13kristof.html

Makes me disgusted at our state.

Frustrating

Today, I am so frustrated. I haven't felt like this in awhile, but I am extremely frustrated at the progress that my students have made in a year. Forget academic learning and just consider behavior. They were rude, disrespectful, disengaged and all over the place today. We had to dismiss more students today than I can remember doing in a long time.

I just wish they could come to school, put a smile on their face, do what they are asked of, and we could all have a good time. I understand we are doing projects in each class BUT that doesn't mean it is time to mis-behave and dis-respect not only me but other students.
*I also think it is time for summer break and I am getting a bit more fed up than in the past when a student acts out-my patience is running thin.*
But, I shouldn't have to ask you anymore to sit in your seat. It's June 2nd and you are 17.5 years old.

On top of all the day had to present, a former SDC student who is now in resource and is graduating this year has the 2nd highest GPA from all schools on our campus and should be speaking at graduation. But, due to the fact that she had SDC classes for 3 years, she will not get to speak at graduation but at our awards assembly. To me, it is extremely unfair and a slap in the face. Do SDC classes and my teaching "not count"? I didn't speak up at the staff meeting, but instead walked straight to my room and shed a few tears.

I wanted to tell everyone:

• Why do I even bother to teach if SDC classes "don't count"?
• This student has worked extremely hard to get a 4.0 AND succeed outside of the SDC environment in her senior year.
• It would be GREAT for ALL students to see a student who received special education services at the podium of graduation.

But, alas, I shut my mouth. I am still thinking about approaching the administration at a later date when I am more calm. But, for now, special education seems to be the step-child at my school-I realize as do my students.

Closin' in...

I only have 12 more school days and only 8 with my students as the last week of school we are doing something a bit different.

Wow! I have made it to June and it feels nothing short of amazing. The students are working on projects, class is very laid back and we are bonding. I am taking students to an Oakland Athletics baseball game next week, we are planning a class BBQ where students will each bring something to contribute, and I am planning summer outings with some of my students. It feels great-truly great.

I have had some future teachers observing my classroom the past couple of weeks. One was there today for the first 2 periods of the day and one of my students told her during passing period that I was a "Bomb Ass Teacher". I didn't hear him say it, but she told me later and what a compliment! I am sad to say that same student is transferring to a military high school next year. He has never been in the same school for more than a year and the trend continues. He has been able to make HUGE strides in my classroom and I am extremely proud of him. I am also very sad to think that he won't be back next year and he is going to have to transition yet again to a new place.

I am beginning to pack up my classroom and get organized. Next year, I will be in a different classroom but I am excited about where it will be. It is just a pain to have to move everything, but that is okay. It will force me to re-do my classroom :)

I have been constantly reflecting on my classroom, behavior management, grading and my teaching to try and implement better systems for next year. I am going to document a few of my thoughts in coming weeks and also an end of the year letter to myself.

Lastly, I am forever grateful to this cohort of students who I was able to teach this year. They taught me so much and they will always be my "first students". I have come a long way since August 30th and each of them have taught me something that I will carry into the future. I intend to let each of them just what they have meant to me and leave them each with a gift for summer....