Made it to the finish line...

It is the night before the last day of school and I can officially announce that I made it to the finish line. There have been plenty of moments where I doubted my decision to move to Oakland, to teach in Oakland and to finish out my 1st year of teaching. But, for each of those moments there has been a moment that will forever be ingrained in my heart and mind reminding me why I made the choice to move to Oakland and teach.

My students have shown me an incredible amount of commitment, resilience, heart, and a fair share of "real life". I have learned so much about society, hardship, academic learning, inequalities but also how rewarding it can be to continue on this journey we call life.

In the process, I have begun to learn how to teach. I have grown in so many ways both as a person and as a teacher. I know that I have a million miles to continue walking down this path, but after 180 days as a first year teacher I am confident and dedicated to becoming the best possible teacher and person I can be.

I have so many moments/experiences/commentary to reflect on in coming days, weeks, months and years. But, I want to just put some of these on paper so as not to forget them now and later on in life.

*This list is in no particular order...*

1. Life is not fair. We cannot help the family we are born into or the circumstances in which our families are in, BUT my students have shown me what it means to overcome those circumstances. We all only have 1 blood family and we can love them for who and what they are, but we also can pursue our dreams always remembering where we came from.

I think that I have grown immensely as a person because of my students. I have learned what it means to grow up in a community with a family completely opposite of mine and what that means. I have learned the inequalities that exist within society and what that means for life and for education. I have been able to reflect each and everyday with these TRUTHS embedded in my mind and heart. And, I vow to continue working hard because these young people deserve the BEST education they can get just like I had.

2. Teaching reading is difficult. Seeing students who are young adults unable to read is unreal. It shows just how much the education system has failed them. And, for them it is the most frustrating thing in their life. Most will never express that, but a couple of times students have broken down in tears because they want to learn to read so badly, but no one has been able to teach them.

I am not an expert, but I vow to become one. I want to teach these young people how to read because "Reading is the road to Freedom".

3. I am constantly humbled by people at my school. It has been the most difficult 365 days of my life both emotionally and physically, but watching other teachers and students interact humbles me and reminds me why I am doing the work I do. Each teacher cares SO much about the youth in our community and goes out of their way to show just how much they care. But, the flipside is there can be so many disappointments, heartaches and upsets that exist in our community. An example is the fact that we have only 6 African American males graduating this year. Now, we should have 110 seniors graduating (# that started freshman year), but we have 30. And, there are only 6 A.A. males. It makes me sick to my stomach when I think about that. But, as a staff we show up, we show that we care, we teach, and we teach, and we teach. We vow to give them the best quality education in the state so that they can succeed after high school in a career and not the streets. The truth is, not everyone will make it. But, I will try my damnest to ensure that my students get to high school graduation.

4. BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT, BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT, BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT!
I think I have grown so much in this area. I am ready to conquer my classroom next year because I am confident I can manage any behavior in my class. I have seen HUGE gains from my students in their behavior and cannot wait to work with them next year.

5. 85% of young adults who go to juvenile hall will return to juvenile hall. It breaks my heart to see our students caught up with the law. Many of them just don't walk away when put in a bad situation and many feel that they have to be in those situations to 'make a living'. But, at the end of the day, school is the BEST place for these young people because education will get them out of their current situation. But, saying that and listening to that is a different story. At first, I was intimidated by juvenile hall and the young adults that came out of there. But, at the end of the day these young people don't bite...they are rough around the edges, but have a soft spot deep down. They show up because they want to earn their education although they may put up a fight in the beginning. I need to continue to break down their walls so I can find that soft spot. At the end of the day, they are still kids.

At the end of the day, I may not have been able to teach my students everything I had wanted. There is still so much room for each of them to grow academically and I have big plans for each of them next year. But, I have created experiences and memories that many of them will remember for the rest of their life. I have led by example, preached values and morals, exposed them to new things and hopefully positively influenced their life. I want to impact their life in bigger ways but I am SO proud of myself and the work they have done this year. I made it to the finish line...never thought I would get here!

This morning before school, I had 4 of my favorite students hanging out in my room and it reminded me of the good things I have done with them. We were able to just hang out, converse, joke with one another and each of them had positive things to say about school, each other, and me. The relationships they have begun to establish with one another are so important in building a community where each can seek safety, trust and love. I hope that I have shown them trust, love, and a safe place...at the end of the day, each of them need and deserve that.

Just to post some pictures--I took my students to the Oakland A's game and we had a BLAST watching the Angels beat the A's :)






Get Ready 2010-2011! I am ready to continue to impact the youth in a positive, uplifting and academic rigorous way....2 months and I will be back!

Disparity in prison and educational spending...

Yet another article that highlights 2 men who are leading very different lives, but highlights the HUGE disparity between prison spending and educational spending especially in California.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/13/opinion/13kristof.html

Makes me disgusted at our state.

Frustrating

Today, I am so frustrated. I haven't felt like this in awhile, but I am extremely frustrated at the progress that my students have made in a year. Forget academic learning and just consider behavior. They were rude, disrespectful, disengaged and all over the place today. We had to dismiss more students today than I can remember doing in a long time.

I just wish they could come to school, put a smile on their face, do what they are asked of, and we could all have a good time. I understand we are doing projects in each class BUT that doesn't mean it is time to mis-behave and dis-respect not only me but other students.
*I also think it is time for summer break and I am getting a bit more fed up than in the past when a student acts out-my patience is running thin.*
But, I shouldn't have to ask you anymore to sit in your seat. It's June 2nd and you are 17.5 years old.

On top of all the day had to present, a former SDC student who is now in resource and is graduating this year has the 2nd highest GPA from all schools on our campus and should be speaking at graduation. But, due to the fact that she had SDC classes for 3 years, she will not get to speak at graduation but at our awards assembly. To me, it is extremely unfair and a slap in the face. Do SDC classes and my teaching "not count"? I didn't speak up at the staff meeting, but instead walked straight to my room and shed a few tears.

I wanted to tell everyone:

• Why do I even bother to teach if SDC classes "don't count"?
• This student has worked extremely hard to get a 4.0 AND succeed outside of the SDC environment in her senior year.
• It would be GREAT for ALL students to see a student who received special education services at the podium of graduation.

But, alas, I shut my mouth. I am still thinking about approaching the administration at a later date when I am more calm. But, for now, special education seems to be the step-child at my school-I realize as do my students.

Closin' in...

I only have 12 more school days and only 8 with my students as the last week of school we are doing something a bit different.

Wow! I have made it to June and it feels nothing short of amazing. The students are working on projects, class is very laid back and we are bonding. I am taking students to an Oakland Athletics baseball game next week, we are planning a class BBQ where students will each bring something to contribute, and I am planning summer outings with some of my students. It feels great-truly great.

I have had some future teachers observing my classroom the past couple of weeks. One was there today for the first 2 periods of the day and one of my students told her during passing period that I was a "Bomb Ass Teacher". I didn't hear him say it, but she told me later and what a compliment! I am sad to say that same student is transferring to a military high school next year. He has never been in the same school for more than a year and the trend continues. He has been able to make HUGE strides in my classroom and I am extremely proud of him. I am also very sad to think that he won't be back next year and he is going to have to transition yet again to a new place.

I am beginning to pack up my classroom and get organized. Next year, I will be in a different classroom but I am excited about where it will be. It is just a pain to have to move everything, but that is okay. It will force me to re-do my classroom :)

I have been constantly reflecting on my classroom, behavior management, grading and my teaching to try and implement better systems for next year. I am going to document a few of my thoughts in coming weeks and also an end of the year letter to myself.

Lastly, I am forever grateful to this cohort of students who I was able to teach this year. They taught me so much and they will always be my "first students". I have come a long way since August 30th and each of them have taught me something that I will carry into the future. I intend to let each of them just what they have meant to me and leave them each with a gift for summer....

Compared to a white child...

My principal read this at our staff meeting today to celebrate the work we have been doing and will continue to do at our school. Today is "Day of the Teacher" and I think that this piece highlights why I chose to teach where I do....

Compared with a White child in the Oakland hills, an African American born in West Oakland is 1.5 times more likely to be born premature or low birth weight, 7 times more likely to be born into poverty, 2 times as likely to live in a home that is rented and 4 times more likely to have parents with only a high school education or less.

As a toddler, this child is 2.5 times more likely to be behind in vaccinations. By 4th grade, this child is 4 times less likely to live in a neighborhood with 2 times the concentration of liquor stores and more fast food outlets. Ultimately, this adolescent is 5.6 times more likely to drop out of school and less likely to attend a 4-year college than a White adolescent.

As an adult, he will be 5 times more likely to be hospitalized for diabetes, 2 times as likely to be hospitalized for and to die of heart disease, 3 times more likely to die of stroke and twice as likely to die of cancer.

Born in West Oakland, this person can expect to die almost 15 years earlier than a White person born in the Oakland Hills.


Extremely eye-opening, touching and reminds me of the ever important work that I do to try and save my African American students from falling into this pattern.....



Excerpt taken from:
*Iton, Tony et al. Life and Death from Unnatural Causes: Health and Social Inequity in Alameda County Alameda County Public Health Department, August 2008

Modeling for my students

You never realize how closely students pay attention to your every move. They notice what you say, what you do, what you have for lunch, when you are frustrated, tired, upset and are not afraid to call you out when you do something contradicting to what you ask of them.

We set the tone for the classroom. My students watch me not only for how I manage the classroom, but how I manage my life. I think for my students this is especially important because they don't have an abundance of positive role models in their life.

If I complain about how tired I am because I stayed up late (watching TV, hanging out with friends, grading papers), I am modeling for my students that a good night’s rest is not important.

When I complain about other teachers, I am modeling for my students that I am not a team player. I am not looking for the good in my colleagues.

If I gossip about others, then I am teaching my students it is okay to spread stories about others.

When I complain about needing more time, then I am showing my students how to make excuses.

If I avoid learning new things by whining about how hard it is or that I don’t have enough time, then I am showing my students that they don’t need to try hard either.

I choose how to spend my time. If I’m tired, angry, or unhappy, then it is my own fault. I can’t change others but I can change myself. If I have run out of time to do something, it is because I chose not to use my time more wisely or I over committed myself. Again, it was a decision that I had to make and I can’t blame it on anyone else but myself.

I need to make a list of things that are important to me and prioritize them. I need to make absolutely sure that these things are done.

At times I forget just how much of an influence I can have on my students. If I don't start class on time, I am sending a message. If I pull my cell phone out during class, I send a message. If I am impatient, I send a message. Every minute of every day I am on the spot. And every minute counts with my students.



In other news, it is so interesting to teach in an urban, high need school. Yesterday was Teacher Appreciation Day and my friends who work in middle to high class areas received gift cards, appreciation cards and were so excited about it. I can tell you that I have yet to receive a card for anything yet alone Teacher Appreciation Day. And I am not complaining. It just reminds me of the VAST differences between higher and lower income areas.

Open Letter to Teachers

I stumbled upon this and am re-posting because I think this is fantastic. Next year, it will be up in my room as a reminder to myself....

Here in my neck of the woods, it’s the weekend before the start of classes. At my house, life got frantic this week as my wife, a high school language arts teacher, returned to work.

It’s about to get really busy if you are at all involved in education. As you gear up in whatever way that you do, I selfishly wanted to jot down a few reminders that I’d be telling myself if I were about to get started.

First. I hope you take lots of risks for the sake of learning this year. Not just for your students, but also for you. Make it a goal to try to learn something in a sustained and meaningful way that has little to do with your classroom life. I’ve been trying to learn photography this year, and while I’m nowhere close to proficient, it has been helpful to be in the mindset of a learner who’s struggling. That’s how many of our students feel everyday.

It doesn’t have to be a big risk that you always take – take little ones, too. Ask the question that you’re hesitant to ask. Share the writing you’re doing with your students. Volunteer to do the silly dance at the assembly. Just challenge yourself a little bit every now and then. We rise to the challenge when we’re pushed. But it’s easy to forget to reach.

Try very hard not to work all the time. I suck at this, at turning off my work brain and focusing on being a dad or a husband or “just a dude reading the paper at the corner coffee shop,” but I recognize the value of being at rest and at play, of knowing that it’s better to let small work things go in the name of preserving long term relationships. You CAN be that hero teacher that everyone loves and is in awe of, but only for a little while. Then, you burn out and fade away and don’t do anyone any good at all.

You need no one’s permission to postpone a due date or modify an assignment for the benefit of a student, or to delay some grading for the benefit of yourself or your family. All will be right with the world if you’re a day late, so long as you had a reason.

Be an expert when you need to be. Be a learner always. You are probably the most experienced learner in your classroom. But don’t assume you’re the most knowledgable person or object. If you’ve a computer handy, then you’re not. Embrace that. Relationships and mentoring cannot be outsourced or Googled. They take time and genuine concern.

Model always what you want your students to do. You and your behaviors and habits, no matter how much you might wish otherwise, are a curriculum of sorts, perhaps THE curriculum.

Be humble, but fight like crazy for your students.

Have at all times, as Geoff Powell says, “a healthy respect for young people.”

Work on your crap detector. Teach your students to develop theirs. Read and write lots. Let your students make meaningful choices in their learning. Hold them accountable for the choices they make, good or bad.

And share the good stuff. Your stories are all human ones, and they are all special, just as each one of you, and each of your students, is special. There is always someone curious about what you’re up to.

You’ll have nervous days and scared days and failure days. But you’ll also have “yes” days. Write about, reflect upon, and learn from all of them, but build a special place to keep a record of the “yes” ones. Return to it when you need a boost on some of the not-so-good days.

I wish you well. I ask you to be brave and humble and kind and tenacious and wise and caring and gentle and fierce. We so need you to do well. And there are lots of folks out there who want to help. Do good stuff.