It's all about Learning...

I had a really good day at school today. The students were willing to work hard, engage in the material and I had well prepared, engaging lessons. I love that I can connect with my students so much easier than last year-we can have fun, but also get stuff done.

But, during History today I reminded myself of the dire reality-these students CANNOT afford to lose a day of their education. They MUST take advantage of every moment in school and every moment out of school in order to even attempt to catch up on their reading and math levels.

I want to teach them how to read. It is all about their learning...and once they see progress, they will engage in the process EVEN more....

I have to learn to teach reading-it is necessary. I see hope in my students as do others around the school and we have to be able to provide the resources and instruction to raise their reading level.

Time to get busy. Time to work hard. Time to inspire change.

Things I am thankful for....

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for quite a bit in my life, but I wanted to put together a list of things I am thankful for that relate to the work I am doing in Oakland....Here is what I came up with:

1. Colleagues I work with: the dedication and passion they put into their work each and everyday is evident and inspiring to me on a daily basis.

2. Students: they consistently amaze me by their smiles, their laughs, their warm hearts and their determination to keep on going when everything in their life could cause them to stop. They warm my heart and make me smile.

3. Trell: the student who consistently puts a smile on my face and who I am extremely proud of. I have seen him make a huge turn around in his life and in his commitment to his education. He is ALWAYS engaged, pleasant, respectful and loving. He gives the best hugs, has the best smile and the most infectious laugh. On Friday, he was in my room after school making up homework and tests because he wants to earn his higher grades. Simply amazing....

4. Gloria: Outside of school and my teaching life, I could be great friends with Gloria. She ALWAYS amazes me because she has had to endure some tough life circumstances, but she is determined to make it. I will do anything to ensure that happens.

5. Nina: She is a 9th grader this year and never ceases to put a smile on my face. Every morning she comes to see me before school to say hello and give me a hug. She says funny things, but has THE most caring heart.

6. Many moments already this school year that have stopped me in my teaching and in my thinking because they are once in a lifetime. Moments where you see that a student gets it, moments where you see that they want to be in class with you learning, moments where you see the mutual love and respect for one another when at this time last year we were no where near that and moments where I can see that I am truly making a difference. I am extremely thankful for the work that I do and feel lucky to have been given the opportunity to be where I am teaching who I am.

This Thanksgiving, give thanks to life. Life has SO many blessings-the music we listen to, our health, the people that we are surrounded by, the food in front of us, the jobs we have, and all the little things that put smiles on our face. It is these things that make me thankful to be alive...

Pictures to remember

I want my experience in Oakland to last me a lifetime so I am going to try to document more of my experience through pictures....Here are some of my classroom, a couple students and the outside of my school.....

The mural painted outside school....

Students and I being silly...

Different angles of the beautiful classroom!

Ironic Day

Today had it's fill of first for me which I will blog about later, but it was also a tad ironic.

A lady from the district came to observe me during English and not only interrupted my class but proceeded to begin teaching the class. Needless to say, I was QUITE offended and frustrated when she told me she did not think I was/am doing a good job but is not eloquent AT ALL in expressing these things.

But, then my principal wrote an e-mail to his boss and the head of special education about an issue. And, he copied me on the e-mail and said some of the NICEST, most affirming comments that proved that I am doing a good job. There is nothing like reaffirming words from your boss...

The shock to my SDC Teacher (me) would almost guarantee that this would be her last year at EOSA, another unbearable lost.

We currently have an amazing SDC program at our school anchored by a dedicated, passionate, and committed teacher, Ms. Searing. The success of the program and Ms. Searing's ability to create a rigorous learning environment has everything to do with her assistant. Our program has the largest case load of any SDC program in East Oakland. One of the reasons why we have so many students is because the SDC classroom is a learning environment that is safe and expects students to perform well academically. It works because the two of them work well together.

That is about all I need to keep a smile on my face and passion in my heart....

Made my heart sink

On my way home from school today, I saw one of my students on the street. He hasn't been to school in about a month now, but I always see him at least once a week, hanging on the street, usually smoking. It has always HIT me just how sad it is but today I got a good punch to the stomach.

He is 16. He has been to juvenile hall once. He says that he chooses when to come to school and when not to and no one can tell him otherwise.

Today, he was smoking a cigarette, rolling dice on the street with a 45 year old woman. At 4:15 pm he was gambling openly.

And the reason I got so upset about it is because I just cannot imagine what is going on in his mind to NOT come to school once in the last month. What is he thinking when he chooses gambling, smoking and god knows what else over his education?

And, where is his life going to lead as a result? How do I help influence him? How do we, as a school community, get involved in his life to lead him back to school?

Is it my job? And if it isn't my job whose job is it? Because I don't see anyone else stepping to the plate....

One of many heart throb moments I have had in the last week regarding some of the African-American males in my class. Last night, I read this article that compared living in Oakland to living in a war zone. 16 year old African-American males are 16 times more likely to die than their white counterparts. Homicide is the LEADING cause of death for 10-24 year old African American males.....

What are we not doing right? And what can we begin to do in order to help these young men find the value in education and the value in their life?

Doin' the best I can...

I remember this time last year...the 7th week of school when you begin to become a bit exhausted by the work. The physical and emotional toll have hit me but I think the biggest difference this year is that I can SEE just how dysfunctional parts of the district are. I have begun to view programs/services/departments with a critical eye and am frustrated. Today, people saw that frustration on my face.

I am a teacher and I don't make that much money for the work that I am doing. Work that I think should be valued and respected because it is IMPORTANT. I have 19 lives depending on me to educate them so that they can become productive members of society. I have only been at my school site for a year now, but I would like to think I understand my students better than an outsider.

The district or rather special education assigned me a reading coach. I love having people in my room and openly invite anyone to observe me, the students and provide me feedback. That is what allows me to become a better teacher and thus impacting my students in a positive manner. So, the reading coach observed me today. I have already had a very negative interaction with her a month ago while I was attending training. But, I was looking forward to someone observing me and providing me feedback in order to enhance my teaching. I also think that I am very good at receiving feedback even if it is critical-that's a skill I learned playing sports.

Well for 30 minutes today, this reading coach did not have a single positive thing to say to me about my classroom or my teaching. I sat there in disbelief, holding back tears because I was so frustrated. I can't believe that she observed me for 30 minutes with students who she does not know and then provided me with the feedback that she did. Even if she feels that I am an ineffective teacher, she did not go about providing suggestions in a constructive way. I am extremely frustrated and hurt. The worst part about it is she is coming back tomorrow.

I know that I need to move past it today and take what I can from what she said and put it to good use in order to inform my teaching...I also need to put a smile back on my face and remember who I am there to influence-the students...Ultimately, I am there to teach the students. I am there to influence them in a positive way so that they stay off the streets and in the classroom. No matter what, they rely on me to be a stable source of positivity and inspiration....

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday :)

Why?

Some ask why I am teaching ....some ask why I am teaching where I am...some people ask me why I teach the students I do....

Throughout the last 14 months, I have done a lot of thinking. Deep thinking. Thinking about who I am, the values I hold, what is important and what is not, my future, what I want from the future. I have also had endless time to reflect on the work I am doing in East Oakland with the students I am working with.

Some people tell me that this job is setting me up for the future, setting me up to bigger and better things. But, this job has made me a better person. It has taught me what resiliency is; it has taught me about inequalities that exist all across America, about racism and how it is still playing a part in today's society. I have changed. And I am proud of who I am changing into.

I can't control the future. I don't know what I want to do in the future but I do know that I feel like I am in the right place at the right time for the first time in my life. And for now, it feels good and right and challenging and emotional but good.

So to answer those questions that people ask me daily, I say that I am doing some of the most important work in America with some of the most incredible people by my side. And, the future will fall into place-it always does.

*On another note, my principal paid me a really nice compliment today that just felt good at a time with my students that has been extremely rough the last couple weeks. He said it is his privilege to work alongside a smart, dedicated and hardworking teacher....*